Archive | January, 2012

My Mad Libs Greatest Hits

26 Jan

photos by E. Groves

“Although we believe ourselves to be suspiciously civilized, most of us are really buttholes at heart because we still believe in broken-down-raggedy-ass superstitions that began while man still lived in whispers.”

Without Mad Libs, my friends and I would probably never write or say things like that. It’s the wacky, almost-completely-lacking context of Mad Libs stories that makes them so ridiculous — and sometimes riotously funny. I’ve probably done more than a hundred Mad Libs with my friends and neighbors. Sometimes, I’ve sat around spouting off random words with friends to fill-in-the-blanks for hours on end, and we’d laugh so hard reading our Mad Libs aloud. There were plenty of moments we laughed until our sides ached and tears were streaming down our faces. It’s in the spirit of friends and off-the-cuff fun that I present My Mad Libs Greatest Hits, culled from my thirteen Mad Libs books dating back I-don’t-know-how-many-years, and written with about a dozen different people.

Here are but 20 of the silliest, strangest sentences (completely out of context, of course):

Continue reading


Phoenix band Lovesong debuts first music video

14 Jan

Phoenix ambient electronic project Lovesong’s first music video is a cool, creepy collage of broken baby dolls, disorienting flashes of light and flickering  frame changes, and a dark, barely-linear soundscape loosely held together by sinewy snare drums, the persistent pulse and bleep of machines, and warbling keyboards. It’s quite good — especially for a band whose members are all deceased, according to their Facebook page.

There’s a gothic mythology behind that, of course — entities are alive and working on the posthumous album, with seven songs presently posted on Lovesong’s Soundcloud page.  Check out the video for “boy girl song” — courtesy of Lovesong’s GJ Lithgow, Julio Lopez (of Grandpa Muck), and Anthony Vandawalker — below.

Ten Somniloquous Statements

10 Jan

I’ve talked in my sleep since I was a child. Many mornings, I would wake up to stories from my parents about what I’d said in my sleep in the night before. My mom likes to tell the story of how I barely survived meningitis of the brain when I was an infant, and underwent a battery of brain tests by various doctors, who told my mother that my brain “never slept.” I’m not sure what that means. But apparently, my mouth rarely rests, either.

Continue reading

Furry Fashion Show at the Firehouse

9 Jan

One happy unicorn.

The Firehouse has a giant pirate ship made from shopping carts docked in its back dirt lot; a skeletal, welded metal UFO perched atop its roof; and two makeshift wooden stages where people perform everything from fire-spinning dances to obscene sci-fi rap in sexy cyborg costumes. That’s just part of the peripheral grounds. Inside The Firehouse are artists’ apartments and studios, and a gallery (currently featuring a steampunk-themed show). It’s one of the longest-running independent artist collectives in downtown Phoenix, and I’ve seen a slew of quirky, fun stuff there.

It seems like every time I go there on a weekend with my girlfriend, Bootstrap, she somehow ends up becoming a last-minute part of whatever show’s going on. (Previously, she: participated in the annual “Fight Club” event by local promoters Sadisco*, getting into a chain-link octagon and wrestling with one of our friends; portrayed a “slave girl” devoured by someone in a giant Cthulu costume; and donned a metal breastplate for friends to use grinders on during an event by now-defunct group Grindwhore.)

So it was this past First Friday, when Bootstrap and I showed up at The Firehouse to watch a “steampunk fashion show,” and she ended up onstage in a giant hot pink bunny mask as part of a “furry fashion show.”

Continue reading