Earth Mama Top Secret Marijuana-Inspired Vodka

5 Apr

earth mama

One of the great things about vodka is its amenability to all sorts of infusions, from grapefruit to green olive to cilantro. It’s easy to flavor vodka with virtually anything, which is why some of the top-selling vodkas sound like desserts, such as Pinnacle Whipped Cream and Smirnoff Raspberry. There are pecan-flavored vodkas, tobacco-flavored vodkas, even a Sriracha vodka.

And now, there’s a “marijuana-inspired” vodka: Earth Mama Top Secret. I recently received a bottle in a promotional package, complete with a colorful booklet full of promo placards, poster images and advertisements featuring half-naked hippies dancing. I think they made for great photo props, as you’ll see throughout this review.

Let me answer everybody’s first question first: There is no marijuana or THC in this vodka. It is “hemp-flavored,” but it does not contain any actual hemp. It is strikingly flavored with something that gives it a skunky, grassy burn – some sort of herbal orgy that’s not listed on the label – and so in that way, it succeeds as yet another successful infused-vodka frankendrink doppelganger, taking on the characteristics of its organic host or homage. I decided to try the vodka different ways for this review, including first as a plain 2 oz. shot, then in a few cocktails. I rated each drink on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the best, or highest rank). Unfortunately, I found that Earth Mama Top Secret vodka, while pretty potently groovy on its own, does not seem to play well with others.

The Shot (2 oz.): The first thing I notice about Earth Mama Top Secret vodka is the odor, which smells remarkably like skunky marijuana. The vodka is super-clear, its transparency a result of being filtered ten times. I take the shot, swish it around my palate, and swallow. Instantly, a big-time boozy burn blazes up from the back of my throat and up through my nostrils, like a fire coming through a tunnel, and leaves the tingle of scorched grasslands smoldering across my tongue. It was like gulping the smoke from a burning cannabis crop, chased with a swig of moonshine. Seriously. I could have breathed fire, had I been able to breathe. This is a sure shot for an epic drinking game. Just have a fire extinguisher handy. Rating: 4

Mary Jane Collins

Mary Jane Collins

Mary Jane Collins: A twist on the classic Tom Collins cocktail. Contains 1.5 oz. Earth Mama vodka, 3 oz. Tom Collins mix, soda water, and lime slice garnish. If marijuana and a mojito made love, their sticky-sweet union would smell like the Mary Jane Collins, minus the mint. The flavor is fruity and lime-y, and perhaps thanks to the sugary Collins mix, the hemp-flavored vodka doesn’t overpower this drink (which was an issue with most of the other cocktails I made with Earth Mama). The soda water lends a carbonated high-pitch to the earthy vodka, producing a slight pungent, Kombucha-like flavor that’s saved from the mushroom clouds by the drink’s sunny citrus tones. Overall, the Mary Jane Collins was yummy – light, refreshing, grassy and tangy. Rating: 9

Tropical Cocktail: 1.5 ounces Earth Mama vodka, 4 oz. ruby red grapefruit juice, 1 oz. orange juice, 1 cup of ice cubes, lime wedge garnish. I used fresh-squeezed juices for this drink. Maybe my choice of red grapefruit wasn’t the best. It seems like this cocktail would have worked better with a cranberry juice, and maybe the addition of soda water. As it was, it smelled sour and tasted terrible, with the bitterness of the citrus pronounced and lingering on the palate. Grapefruit and hemp-flavored vodka did not play very well together here. I poured this drink down the sink after four sips. Rating: 3 

Tropical Cocktail

Tropical Cocktail

Moscow Mule: 4 oz. ginger beer, 1.5 oz. Earth Mama vodka, 1/6 oz. lime juice. The hemp-flavored vodka works nicely with strong Cock ‘n Bull ginger beer, which is able to match its potency for a better-balanced drink. The robust duo combines for a very earthy, rooty fusion topped with a kick in the throat only mildly quenched by the lime juice. But the mossy, smoky tinge the hemp-flavored vodka brings to the drink would not make Earth Mama my first vodka choice for a Moscow Mule. Rating: 6.5

moscow mule

Moscow Mule

The breakdown:

Earth Mama Top Secret Natural Hemp Type Flavored Vodka

40 percent alcohol by volume (80 proof) 

Distilled from winter wheat

Distilled six times; filtered ten times

Available in Arizona from Young’s Market Company


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